For quite sometime, God has placed a desire in my heart to read and reflect on the stories of the women He used. It is hard for me to read the Bible but I am continually compelled to do so. Part of the reason that it is hard is because I am easily distracted by other things. At times, it is a willingly found distraction and other times life just happens. Last year, Natalie led a D-group that specifically focused on the women of the Bible and  has been kind enough to lend me the book she used.

The story of Hagar has always been a bit of a puzzle for me. Truth be told, the idea of Sarai giving Hagar to her husband to conceive a child has been perplexing  and has made me feel a little sorry for Hagar. Sarai will become the mother of a numerous nation, and not just any nation but one favored by the all mighty God. In Genesis 15, God makes a covenant with Abram giving him confirmation that he will have an heir.

And Behold, the word of the Lord came to him: “This man shall not be your heir, your very own son shall be your heir.” Gen. 15:4

Maybe things were different during the times of Abram but Sarai must have known that God made this promise to Abram. “Your very own son shall be your heir.”  The words that stand out to me are “Your very own son” because this is a very specific promise. So if Sarai knew this then why did she give Hagar to Abram! Maybe my interpretation of the Word is off but it seems like Sarai wanted to fix the problem herself and Abram consented. It reminds me of Adam and Eve and the fall.  Adam ate from the apple that Eve offered him. Sarai offered her servant woman, Hagar, and Abram did as she suggested.  I referred to Adam and Eve because it is interesting to me but my point is actually that Sarai seems to demonstrate her lack of trust in God.

It is a struggle that all face but when it comes to women this struggle has a different spin. Thinking of my own life, I find myself battling my doubt that God will come through with his promises. My response to this doubt is “I have to fix it”.  I try to justify by telling myself that perhaps this is what God wants though my heart insists that it’s not.

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, ” Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go into my servant; it may be that I shall obtain Children by her .” And Abram Listened to the voice of Sarai.” Gen 16: 1-2

Now Sarai partially gets what she wants because Hagar does get pregnant but is unhappy with the results. Hagar is not entirely innocent though we don’t really know how she treated Sarai  in retrospect she is still a servant. The social hierarchies and rules were immensely complex but from what I understand Hagar could never gain the equal status of Sarai and so should have shown respect to Sarai. This plays up on other struggles that plagues women, jealousy, pride and envy.   Hagar probably doesn’t hide her pride that she is able to conceive and Sarai can not ( I mean look at how many stories in Bible touch on this subject!) Sarai must have felt some level of jealousy and envy. The kind that really grates and hurts. Sarai seems to have taken it out on Abram by trying to blame him and then let it out on Hagar because she could. Hagar was fleeing from the whole situation. A situation that must have been terrible enough to have her wandering the desert in desperation.This part of the story, Gen 16:7-15, shows me that God is really awesome.  Who knows if Hagar believes in God or not but God still extends his compassion towards her. He sends his angel to her and treats her gently.

Reflecting on this story allows me to see the strongholds that Satan tries to use against women and how easy it is for us to fall as prey to them. I feel that God wants to show me that despite the fact that some of these women in the Bible were indeed great but they also struggled. Times are totally different but underneath the modernism Satan uses the same old tricks. My goal is to try and be more aware of these strongholds.